Are You Happily Married?

Most parents will tell their daughter that an engineer is definitely marriage material that they will most certainly favour him.  They are known to handle the stress and strain of relationships better than most of their opponents, but whenever you are emotional, you can be confident they will be by your side analysing the mathematical and ‘logical’ reasons as to why this moment occurred. They are very handy when it comes to fixing things around the house such as lawnmowers, washers and dryers, and arranging your home theatre system to ‘just the right acoustic levels’, but if it has been more than an hour and they are still fixing it, don’t dare disturb them, because you could soon be date-hunting again. This personality type normally climb the corporate ladder, are usually well paid and mindful of how they spend their income.

And I’ve heard time and time again how this type of personality has wounded his bride over her inability to ‘wow’ him on unbuttoning her blouse back in the honeymoon suite. That is because, he’d prefer to fold their clothes first before embarking on ‘wild’, ‘uncontrolled’ sex (after first safeguarding the door, ensure the towel covers the comforter “just in case”, and the curtains have been secured with sheets to muffle any possible sounds).

Experience

Jane met her dream husband on her way to town after school on day. “I was only 14 and he was 18,” she says. “He had an eye for detail. Seemingly ‘small’ things, to me, were big things to him. “It was difficult in the beginning as I experienced his responses as rejection. My feelings were really offended and I didn’t understand why he would often pull away and ‘need his space’,” explains Jane.

Understanding character

“Because of his personality, he was assured in times of intimacy,” says Jane. “But chatting about any intimate topics in public is taboo, we always had to whisper as . . . “what would the kids say?”  He enjoys thinking about intimacy, and about ways to perfect it. In positive relationships, their creativity and intensity sparkle through in this arena. In more negative relationships, they might enjoy thinking about sex more than actually doing it. They’re likely to approach intimacy from a theoretical, creative perspective, rather than as an opportunity to express love and affection

Jane admits that it took her a while to understand her partner’s temperament: “Before I understood the different temperaments, I cried many a tear, but with knowledge comes understanding and compassion . . . even appreciation. I’d advice women married to “engineer type” personalities to obtain a book which explains the different love languages. “5 Love Languages” by Barry Chapman is an excellent resource which helped me appreciate his strengths and learned the love language of my Engineer. He represented the stability I desired. He’s cute, smart and even hilarious.”

Here’s what she discovered;

Agree to disagree

He is not naturally in tune with his own feelings, or with what other people are feeling. He also has a trend to believe that he is always right, so don’t try to convince him otherwise. This will only make matters worse.

Engineer type personality only communicate by formulas: don’t expect cards or notes

“In my entire time married to John, I hardly received any sort of note or idea of how he felt about me and are not likely to be “touchy-feely” and overly affirming with their mates or children, and may at times be summed up as being insensitive to their emotional needs. They show you, they don’t usually tell you. And by this I don’t mean warm and cosy snuggling or unexpected sex . . . it’s more acts of service like making you breakfast or starting your car in the morning.

Engineers don’t do small talk

“If you like to chat and ramble about your day or the cute tricks your dog learned today, find a friend with a good ear. It’s not going to fly with your engineer. Engineer types like to tackle situations and projects. He wants everything to be brief, which is why reading heaps of silly emails from you will not make his day. Engineer types don’t like a needy girl. Sure, they want to solve your concrete problems, but they don’t want to deal with your emotions.

Sleeping counts as time spent together

“That’s right, girls, eight hours of straight sleeping next to you is quality time for engineer type man.”

Varying his routine requires clever strategy

“Usually, the engineer type is tough to change. That’s why he wears the same thing to work every day. But if you do it very casually, you may be able to tweak a thing or two. Put the new jeans (i.e. the most stylish pair of pants in his collection!) on top in the heap of pants piled in the cupboard and he will instantly pick them. The best way to accomplish a desired result is to just put something in his range and make it as easy as possible. Once, I suggested that John use a different deodorant I liked. I bought him Brut, and he still uses it twenty six years later.

Engineer types provide stability

“Do not expect surprising kisses, embracing or hand-holding. You are more likely to get a new set of earrings or an iPhone as a sign of affection. Your engineer type will take you to dinner, the theatre, and on outings galore – but get him to unexpectedly grab you and kiss you and express his love? Not likely.

Engineer types are good listeners, trustworthy faithful partners. And it can be very comforting to be with someone predictable. They take their commitments seriously, but are open to redefining their promises. Be careful not to allow things to become too dull. Although engineer types do enjoy routine more than most people, you’re well within your rights to spice things up a bit from time to time . . . you may even find him game for some adventure, as long as he can be in bed by 10 pm!

Engineer types are extremely skilled and intelligent characters who strive to always be their best. If you apply these basic goals to your relationship with your engineer type, you are likely to enjoy happy and healthy interaction with your man.